[Dating Papers]

Sometimes I read through on-line personals and feel that these stories are never going to lead to a real loving relationship!! I have no faith really that on-line personals and dating will get me very far in my dream of finding my other half. Photographs seem to look like passport shots on the screen!! A computer does not suddenly turn someone into a genius with romantic relationships. I feel inadequate at expressing my thoughts and personality on-line. Maybe a computer could be used to sift out unsuitable romances by carefully matching personalities and wish lists.A real person’s character is always complex and dating sites could only be a help if it led to meeting someone who was just your dream person. Still dreams are free and maybe one day I will read that special personal and find my true love!!!

Deep down everyone really needs a relationship. I have played the field but it made me realise how shallow these random dates were. Will ordinary on-line dating be any different? Can on-line personals help me find my soul mate? I keep dreaming of finding that special person through my computer but I know it would have to be a fantastic dating site to be successful. I have looked all over the world on-line but in the end the practical issues are always there. There are the problems of distance, time zones and expense in terms of travel. Then I started to think about interests and personals. It will be very difficult to get my personality across just using the internet or telephone. There are so many dating sites now and some are little more than long lists of hopefuls. I dream of a local site or at least UK based that could be my fairy godmother!!!!

Building on our earlier post, when I wrote about The Womaniser, Tom Cruise sounds exactly like the sort of man who needs a trophy wife!

Seriously, what is the matter with a man who needs a woman on his arm at all times? What is he trying to prove? Just think - from 1987 to 1990 he was married Mimi Rogers, then from 1990 to 2001 he was married to Nicole Kidman (who he met on the set of Days of Thunder) and a few months off filing for divorce from Nicole in 2001 (who said she had no idea it was coming) was dating Penelope Cruz (who he met on the set of Vanilla Sky) and then after breaking up with Penelope (maybe she didn’t go along with the Scientology thing?) he stayed out of the limelight and was apparently dating nobody until all of a sudden he has a new movie coming out and then is seen with Katie Holmes (who as I mentioned just ended a long engagement this March) who he apparently had “always wanted to meet” and who he “called out of the blue”.

Read more from Idle Mendacity here.

Vivian mentioned a new acronym that made me laugh…LOST

LOST stands for in London, on our Own, Single and Twentysomething!

I think this is really apt and really funny There’s more advice from Vivian along the lines of;

The belief is that men do not like self-approach girls, however as a self defined feminist in the 21st century, maybe it is time we LOST girls should renew our men-hunting strategies.

Away from the dress-nicely-smile-sweetly, passive, waiting-for-prince-to-save-me girls, I think it is time for us to be more independent and self-motivated.

A frog would never become a prince unless someone kisses it!

Jackass talks about past relationships:

I’ve experienced different stages. I remember when I first started dating, I had my fair share of intimate dates and random surprises. The butterflies in the tummy, the cheap thrill, the teasing and exchanging sweet nothings.

Sometimes, people mix romance with love, they assume that when the romance dies out, they’re no longer in love and therefore breakup, but isn’t it deeper than that? Love isn’t just about whirlwind courtship and constant surprises, it’s about building the foundations of what will become a lifelong partnership, constituting trust, honesty and an equal amount of contribution on both sides. Loving doesn’t mean always having butterflies in the tummy on dates…. it’s a form of trust, a sacrificial spirit.

love - it requires time. You don’t love a person after knowing him/her for a month. You can’t. Love is much deeper than that. You can’t understand a person fully after thirty days. And, if you don’t know the person, how can you then say you love him? It’s an infatuation.

I understand her feelings about love and romance - although the romance is exciting, it is the deeper love that is the most satisfying. However, I still thinks it’s possible to fall in love at first sight, even if we don’t always understand why…..

I spotted this amusing advice in an online dating magazine recently. See if you recognise anybody!

The Mamma’s Boy
He probably lives with his mother, or if not, then he lives close enough for her to visit frequently (i.e. every night). She will have helped him decorate his flat and there will be photos of her all over his walls. He goes ‘home’ for Sunday dinner and keeps several tupperware containers of homemade meals in the fridge or freezer that she made for him.
Why you should stay away: You will never live up to his mother and although he will love and cherish you forever he will take his mother’s side every time.
How to get rid of him: Tell him you don’t like his mother.

The Body Builder
He will have photos of himself on every available space, along with his own home gym (even though he has life membership at the trendy one in town). He has all the latest gadgets and home entertainment systems and a lovely even all-over tan…. even in February!
Why you should stay away: You will never see him as he is always down at the gym. He will spend more time in the bathroom than with you. He collects trophies and likes one hanging off his arm.
How to get rid of him: Tell him he must choose between you and the gym.

The Womanizer
He will treat you like a princess and likes to think he is the perfect lover. He dresses well and everything he does is calculated to impress you …unfortunately he tries to impress every other woman he comes in to contact with too! He will either have trouble remembering your name, or will call you by somebody else’s!
Why you should stay away: His lame excuses for not showing up will gradually wear you down. You will have to compete with his phone as he has so many calls to return and text messages to answer.
How to get rid of him: Tell him, “I used to be a man.”

The Workaholic
He is definitely going places, but will he be taking you with him? Always smartly dressed, he has great taste and likes to be seen eating at the finest restaurants. However, his work will always come first and you will constantly feel let down.
Why you should stay away: You have to make an appointment to see him. He will take you to elegant dinner parties then leave you with strangers while he talks shop.
How to get rid of him: Say to him, “I’m taking a year off to travel. Do you want to come?”

A friend of mine recently shared with me some dating wisdom that she had picked up from a couple of unsuccessful dating experiences. In a nutshell, she recommends that you plan only one date at a time (even though you may be communicating with a number of other people) to enable you to concentrate fully on your date without distractions.

She’s not saying that you should pin all your hopes on just one date, but she now firmly believes that you must focus on one person at a time to be able to really get to know that person and to give that relationship a chance to develop.

She told me:

“With the don’t put all your eggs in one basket philosophy uppermost in my mind, I allowed myself to get into the position where I had two dates lined up in one week. I found this situation to be very distracting - on my first date I was thinking “he’s not 100% perfect but tomorrow’s date might be….” and on the second date I found myself constantly comparing the second guy with the first on just about everything whilst thinking “I wonder what the first guy would say /think about that?”.
Although both dates were enjoyable, the alternatives were constantly on my mind and ultimately I realised I’d been unfair to both guys, as I didn’t really pay as much attention to them individually as I should have done. Ironically, I really really liked the first guy but he told me he found me a little distant and never called again! “

I’m sure many of you, like myself, can totally identify with this story. That’s why I’m passing on the benefit of her good advice…..do yourselves a favour and plan ONE date at a time. Try not to think about all the other guys and girls you’re eager to meet - remember, it only takes ONE great person to make you happy… and if it doesn’t work out there are others out there still waiting for you.

Andy Merrit wrote about some hints and tips for men via Bob Gotfried. [Andy’s comments aren’t working and we couldn’t find an email for him!?!]

The doctor’s prescription, follow the “4 A’s” of effective communication and avoid a fifth “A”. Attend, Acknowldge, Accept, Affirm and avoid unsolicited Advice.

These are all very good tips for starting a relationship in a warm and caring atmosphere. However, we would like to complement these preliminary thoughts with the idea that via Sixth Sense you are so perfectly matched to your new partner that the future of your romance can be predicted.

We saw this at A Man’s World. It is a great mathematical formula!!

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

At Sixth Sense dating the algebra of romantic relationships is perfected for you very quickly in the following equation:-

Sixth Sense Man + Sixth Sense Woman= Lifelong happiness in double quick time!

Cho’s letter was an excellent example of the ‘New Man’. He is thinking seriously about dating, relationships and personals. Dating is in every culture. relationships have changed throughout the ages but certain romantic ideas and behavour have long and fascinating histories. The kiss may even have started from thousands of years ago when mothers partially ate food and then passed it onto their baby by mouth!! Maybe with online dating a hopeful Romeo kisses the screen or the mouse before sending his message online.