[Dating Papers]

I think, “Did I hear the phone ring?” I get up and check to see if the phone rang. The phone rings again. It’s Kansas. I answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, what’s going on?”

I say, “I’m sleeping.”

“What?” Kansas says.

“Sleeping!”

“Oh. I’m a jackass.”

I say, “What do you want?”

“What?”

“What is it? Why are you calling me?”

He says, “I’m a jackass but I’m here. At your door.”

“You’re here?”

He says, “I’m outside.”

“Oh, Kansas. No. Please go home. Please.”

“You’re right. You’re doing the right thing.”

I go back to sleep.

In the morning, I send Kansas an email: Did you get home ok last night?

He writes back: Oh sure. Me and the Nats went into extra innings:)

Jamy: Unfortunately, so did I.

Kansas: Because of me?

Jamy: Yes.

Kansas: Well you turned my drunk ass away nicely. Sorry to have woken you. No really I mean that. Sorry.

Jamy: Was I nice? Good job sleepy J! You worry me. Apology accepted. Off to court.

All this late night activity might make sense if it were about sex. But since sex isn’t even on the table, I have no idea what inspires such bad behavior on Kansas’s part (besides the alcohol). Is this his idea of wooing? It is decidedly not awesome.

I’m tired.

Grateful for: silent mode.